Non-Jews are for practice
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
