I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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