Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
