As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
