You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Im part way to drunk.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
