please come you make the beer taste better
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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