i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
