He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
