I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
two words...techno handjob
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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