Its about making memories worth repressing
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
As shirtless as possible
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
