Fuck appropriateness.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
