just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
