You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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