Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
