When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
