I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize