p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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