Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Randomize
