seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
