Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
