In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
