I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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