So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
