If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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