she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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