ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
