Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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