brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
