Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
