Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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