Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
