so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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