East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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