Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
