It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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