Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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