ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
