Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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