break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I believe in your delicious
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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