woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
