I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I am midnight drunk by noon
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
