I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
