My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize