its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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