So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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