I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
