My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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