Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
