Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
