Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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