i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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