So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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